If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
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I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
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Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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