I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
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Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
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Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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