if you like me you must not know who I am
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize