I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm like, not good at living.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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