Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize