Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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