I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize