Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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