Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
be right there i have to get my cape
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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