grandma shit on top of the toilet
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize