I can text with my tongue
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize