With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
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How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
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You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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