just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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