I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize