I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
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Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
His hands were made for my vagina.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
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I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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