it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
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She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
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And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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