I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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