My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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