is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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