its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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