it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
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