Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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