I can tuck mytits in my pants
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize