She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize