sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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