I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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