The maid of honor just puked.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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