my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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