I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
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My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
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So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize