I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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