I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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