i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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