Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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