Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize