im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The feeling are messing with the penis
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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