Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize