So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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