im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I want her autograph on my taint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Of course I have a pirate flag
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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