4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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