How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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