sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize