Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I think i got beer on your cat.
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