Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Sexting was not on an AP level
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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