My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize