if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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