I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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