Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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