she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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