saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so much better after having sex.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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