Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize